Fool-y Surrender

I have known for a long time that Moses didn't get to lead the people into the Promise Land. I kind of knew it had to do with trusting God, but as I read the passage where God decided this today it caught me off guard. Numbers 20:2-12 is where you can find the story, and if you are like me you may have to read it several times before you discover what made God say Moses didn't trust him. I read the story...Moses heard the people's complaints and "fell face down on the ground" again, and I thought (even underlined it in my Bible) Moses always goes straight to God. God gave him the instructions "so Moses did as he was told." Now, since the people's complaint this time was that they didn't have any water, the instructions that God gave Moses were "as the people watch, speak to that rock over there and it will pour out its water."
Let's just stop there. Honest to goodness, I wrote in my Bible "like the people didn't think he was crazy already." Regardless, Moses did as he was told, right? So why did God say Moses didn't trust him? I prayed and asked God to show me what Moses did wrong. (I'm learning from Moses here - go to God first.) Then, I looked over the story like I used to search for the differences between 2 pictures in those magazines at the dr. office when I was a kid. (What were those, Highlights, or something like that?) Anyway, after a few minutes it jumped off the page at me. After gathering all the people, Moses "raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the the staff."
Did you catch it? God said speak to the rock, but Moses went and got that trusty staff that parted the Red Sea and used it to make water come out of the rock. How many times do I do that when God asks me to do something? PT and I, as you may know, have both resigned from our jobs. (If you didn't know, you can take a look at my first blog post.) We have been home now for almost 3 months. We have had job offers and felt as though God said to turn it down. We are quickly running out of money and praying we don't settle for the wrong job just to make sure we have a pay check before the money runs out completely. I was talking with a friend yesterday and made the statement, "we are trying to find the fine line between fully surrendering to God and foolishness." As I read this today, God challenged me that to fully surrender to God, we may be asked to do something that looks foolish. Moses was told to talk to a rock to make water come out of it! So, to truly fully surrender, I think it may look more like "Fool-y" Surrender.
Last, to top it all off, you can't Fool-y Surrender if you have a back up plan. (I am queen of the back up plan, in case you don't know me.) It is one thing for me to turn down a job and Fool-y trust God if I know there is still something in the wings, waiting for me. It is hardest and makes people say "you are crazy" when there is no back up plan because you completely trust God.

What area of your life is God asking you to Fool-y trust him?
Moses went for the faithful staff. What do you hold on to that keeps you from Fool-y surrendering?