I have known for a long time that Moses didn't get to lead the people into the Promise Land. I kind of knew it had to do with trusting God, but as I read the passage where God decided this today it caught me off guard. Numbers 20:2-12 is where you can find the story, and if you are like me you may have to read it several times before you discover what made God say Moses didn't trust him. I read the story...Moses heard the people's complaints and "fell face down on the ground" again, and I thought (even underlined it in my Bible) Moses always goes straight to God. God gave him the instructions "so Moses did as he was told." Now, since the people's complaint this time was that they didn't have any water, the instructions that God gave Moses were "as the people watch, speak to that rock over there and it will pour out its water."
Let's just stop there. Honest to goodness, I wrote in my Bible "like the people didn't think he was crazy already." Regardless, Moses did as he was told, right? So why did God say Moses didn't trust him? I prayed and asked God to show me what Moses did wrong. (I'm learning from Moses here - go to God first.) Then, I looked over the story like I used to search for the differences between 2 pictures in those magazines at the dr. office when I was a kid. (What were those, Highlights, or something like that?) Anyway, after a few minutes it jumped off the page at me. After gathering all the people, Moses "raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the the staff."
Did you catch it? God said speak to the rock, but Moses went and got that trusty staff that parted the Red Sea and used it to make water come out of the rock. How many times do I do that when God asks me to do something? PT and I, as you may know, have both resigned from our jobs. (If you didn't know, you can take a look at my first blog post.) We have been home now for almost 3 months. We have had job offers and felt as though God said to turn it down. We are quickly running out of money and praying we don't settle for the wrong job just to make sure we have a pay check before the money runs out completely. I was talking with a friend yesterday and made the statement, "we are trying to find the fine line between fully surrendering to God and foolishness." As I read this today, God challenged me that to fully surrender to God, we may be asked to do something that looks foolish. Moses was told to talk to a rock to make water come out of it! So, to truly fully surrender, I think it may look more like "Fool-y" Surrender.
Last, to top it all off, you can't Fool-y Surrender if you have a back up plan. (I am queen of the back up plan, in case you don't know me.) It is one thing for me to turn down a job and Fool-y trust God if I know there is still something in the wings, waiting for me. It is hardest and makes people say "you are crazy" when there is no back up plan because you completely trust God.
What area of your life is God asking you to Fool-y trust him?
Moses went for the faithful staff. What do you hold on to that keeps you from Fool-y surrendering?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
What am I called to do?
So many times I have found myself discontent with where I am. Each time I find myself coming back to this question. What am I called to do? I know God has something extraordinary for me, so why can't I seem to get there. The last time I really sought hard after the answer to this question I began reading for myself about leaders in the Bible. I wanted to know how God communicated with them, how they responded and what it looked like when God laid out the plan for their lives.
Since I became a Christ Follower, I have had my very own life motto. "Love God, Serve Others" (based on Matthew 22:37-40.) I strive to live my life by these actions, but as I read through the life of Joseph this time God gave me a new life motto. You know the story of Joseph. God gave him a vision early in life that his brothers would all bow down to him. A trip through a pit, to slavery, and jail surely never seemed like the right path for reaching that goal, however, not only did Joseph's vision come true, he also was used by God to save nations of people from starvation! (The one long sentence version of the story. You can read it for yourself in Genesis 37-50) This time I read the story I couldn't help but see how long it was between the vision and the final outcome, and all the little turns that the story took. All the while, one thing was true at each stage of Joseph's journey...He did the best job he could do where God had him on that day, and that is what got him to the place where God was able to do "immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine" in his life.
God totally called me at that moment to live my life by this new motto. "Do the best job that I can do where God has me today." I can certainly be thankful that I am not in jail to reach the completion of the vision he has placed in my life. :) I simply have to remember that each day I am where God wants me to be and all I am called to do is to do the best that I can on that day. I have stopped focusing on the destination and am enjoying the journey.
What vision has God placed in your life? What do you need to stop doing in order to focus on doing the best job that you can do where God has you today?
Since I became a Christ Follower, I have had my very own life motto. "Love God, Serve Others" (based on Matthew 22:37-40.) I strive to live my life by these actions, but as I read through the life of Joseph this time God gave me a new life motto. You know the story of Joseph. God gave him a vision early in life that his brothers would all bow down to him. A trip through a pit, to slavery, and jail surely never seemed like the right path for reaching that goal, however, not only did Joseph's vision come true, he also was used by God to save nations of people from starvation! (The one long sentence version of the story. You can read it for yourself in Genesis 37-50) This time I read the story I couldn't help but see how long it was between the vision and the final outcome, and all the little turns that the story took. All the while, one thing was true at each stage of Joseph's journey...He did the best job he could do where God had him on that day, and that is what got him to the place where God was able to do "immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine" in his life.
God totally called me at that moment to live my life by this new motto. "Do the best job that I can do where God has me today." I can certainly be thankful that I am not in jail to reach the completion of the vision he has placed in my life. :) I simply have to remember that each day I am where God wants me to be and all I am called to do is to do the best that I can on that day. I have stopped focusing on the destination and am enjoying the journey.
What vision has God placed in your life? What do you need to stop doing in order to focus on doing the best job that you can do where God has you today?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My neighbor made me muffins!
That sounds so nice, "my neighbor made me muffins". But, it made my heart break a little. You see, this neighbor moved in back in February and I have continually thought about what I need to do for them to welcome them, to reach out to them, to show them love. I always had the perfect ideas of how to make something just right, but it was so perfect I couldn't do it. I didn't have the right stuff. I'm not great at baking. I just don't have the time. (At least that was a good reason until March.) :)
There was always a reason, usually because I convinced myself the outcome wouldn't be perfect. What I realized when my neighbor made me muffins was...JUST DO IT! The muffins she gave me weren't beautiful, a couple were even a little broken and they were simply wrapped up in foil...But how precious of her to bring me muffins. - DON'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE PERFECT - JUST DO IT!
There was always a reason, usually because I convinced myself the outcome wouldn't be perfect. What I realized when my neighbor made me muffins was...JUST DO IT! The muffins she gave me weren't beautiful, a couple were even a little broken and they were simply wrapped up in foil...But how precious of her to bring me muffins. - DON'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE PERFECT - JUST DO IT!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Stoopin' instead of Steppin'
John 20:3-9 (NLT - emphasis mine)
3 Peter and the other disciple started out for the tomb. 4 They were both running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He stooped and looked in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he didn’t go in. 6 Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, 7 while the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying apart from the other wrappings. 8 Then the disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in, and he saw and believed—9 for until then they still hadn’t understood the Scriptures that said Jesus must rise from the dead.
As I read this passage I noticed that the disciple who reached the tomb first didn't go in..."He stooped". Later in the passage it says he "went in, and he saw and believed". Then it even says that "until then they still hadn't understood." I don't know about you, but that jumped off the page at me. They didn't believe until they actually took steps to go inside! How many times have I missed out on what God was doing simply because I was Stoopin' instead of Steppin'? When we choose to take steps in our faith he can show us things we couldn't have seen before and understand him in ways that seemed unimaginable.
What areas in your life are you Stoopin'? Do you have any stories of times you have stepped and seen this happen in your life?
3 Peter and the other disciple started out for the tomb. 4 They were both running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. 5 He stooped and looked in and saw the linen wrappings lying there, but he didn’t go in. 6 Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, 7 while the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying apart from the other wrappings. 8 Then the disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in, and he saw and believed—9 for until then they still hadn’t understood the Scriptures that said Jesus must rise from the dead.
As I read this passage I noticed that the disciple who reached the tomb first didn't go in..."He stooped". Later in the passage it says he "went in, and he saw and believed". Then it even says that "until then they still hadn't understood." I don't know about you, but that jumped off the page at me. They didn't believe until they actually took steps to go inside! How many times have I missed out on what God was doing simply because I was Stoopin' instead of Steppin'? When we choose to take steps in our faith he can show us things we couldn't have seen before and understand him in ways that seemed unimaginable.
What areas in your life are you Stoopin'? Do you have any stories of times you have stepped and seen this happen in your life?
Monday, May 16, 2011
So, I'm starting a BLOG
Just a little bit about me...I have always hated to read, I don't think I am very good at writing, I certainly have no real training that qualifies me to teach, but God has been teaching me and I wouldn't be a good steward if I don't share the lessons with others. (That was the last lesson he taught me, so here I am...)
My Story: I accepted Christ on a retreat in high school and they couldn't keep me out of the church from then on. I "accepted a call to ministry" about a year later. For real, I walked down the aisle of my church, the one they couldn't keep me out of anymore, and told them I felt like God wanted me to do this sort of thing for the rest of my life. They prayed for me, put my picture on the wall, and it was official! I helped out with the student ministry, constantly invited my friends to church and by the time I was 18 was on staff - Children's Ministry Intern.
I met my husband, PT, at 18, got engaged 8 months later, and we got married almost 2 years later. (That's a whole different blog post.) We have been married for almost 12 years now and have 2 precious boys. I started school in MS, but I ended up graduating from Texas Christian University with a business degree, focused on Entrepreneurial Management. (Which I still can't spell without spell check.) PT and I began working at Fellowship Church about the time we each finished school, him from Seminary and me from TCU. We have loved being a part of Fellowship Church. Out of the almost 12 years that we have been married 9 of them have been as part of the family of Fellowship Church. We have become who we are because of our time there.
So where are we now? That is a great question..we aren't sure. God began working in our hearts around August of last year. Quietly, He asked us to get ready for a new journey. Over time that nudge became louder and more persistent, so we began to look for direction on where this new journey would go. After months of keeping our eyes open we still saw no new path. I continued to pray and ask God to show us where we were going, but no direction. I began to read scripture more diligently for the answers. I studied people, how God led them, how he communicated with them, how they responded and what happened afterwards. You start talking about God calling you to move and you instantly think of Abraham. I can tell you after searching through the scripture from Abraham to Moses, then all of the New Testament, there are FAR MORE stories of God showing his people where to go before they move than the popular story of Abraham who just goes, with no direction at all. SO, I waited some more for God to show us where he wanted us to go. Surely he would open a door, drop something in our laps if he wanted us to change jobs.
Then there was that morning that I cried out to God for direction. I can clearly recall driving in to work that morning listening to worship music just begging God to give us some answers. We were no longer content to just keep doing the same old thing when the creator of the universe says he has something different for you. I told God that morning that we wanted what he has for us, that we were willing to step out like Abraham if that was what he wanted us to do, but I didn't think that is what he was asking of us. If it was, then he needed to make that clear. I don't think I have seen God answer prayer requests so fast in all of my life. He made if very clear that morning that he was asking us to step out in faith not knowing what was next, and the wheels were all in motion before I could even stop and say, "You want us to both quit our jobs?" Although that is probably best, because had we had much time to stop and think about it we probably would not have done it...I mean, who does that? Who chooses to up and quit your job in this economy with no idea of what is next? Things are going fine. We love Fellowship Church. We have a nice little house. The kids are doing good in their school. There are so many reasons not to take that step, but I have no doubt in my mind that is the step that God directed. From August when God began this particular part of our journey he spoke to me when I read Isaiah 42:16 "I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them." As clearly as if he were speaking audibly to me he said that he is taking us on a new path, he will show us what we need to know when we need to know it and that he has all the details covered.
No Really - Where are we? So, that step of faith was about 2 months ago. We have had several interviews for jobs with other churches, that we felt God say "that's not it, wait for me." We have enough left in our savings to make it to the end of June and I am continually going back to that verse. I usually just recite it to myself from memory, but I opened it up and read it from the Bible to discover that it doesn't end there. The last part of verse 16 actually says, "Yes, I indeed will do these things; I will not forsake them." I know that God has a plan. I would really love to know what it is, but God continues to teach me to trust him one step at a time. The farther we go, them more I have to rely on him. I think that is what he is truly trying to teach me. I was at the Flavour Conference last week and Julie Richard (LOVE HER!!) was talking about how God's ability really comes out when you are in need of a miracle...that is his sweet spot...he's kinda good at that. :) God took that moment to remind me that I may miss out on a chance to really see him do a miracle in my life if I am not in need of one. I know he has brought us out here to this place and that he has a plan for us. I continue to learn like I have never learned before and I wake up in the morning with the thought, "I can't make it through today without you."
God, keep me here long enough to never forget that no matter my circumstances, I can't make it through today without you.
Bonnie Lee
My Story: I accepted Christ on a retreat in high school and they couldn't keep me out of the church from then on. I "accepted a call to ministry" about a year later. For real, I walked down the aisle of my church, the one they couldn't keep me out of anymore, and told them I felt like God wanted me to do this sort of thing for the rest of my life. They prayed for me, put my picture on the wall, and it was official! I helped out with the student ministry, constantly invited my friends to church and by the time I was 18 was on staff - Children's Ministry Intern.
I met my husband, PT, at 18, got engaged 8 months later, and we got married almost 2 years later. (That's a whole different blog post.) We have been married for almost 12 years now and have 2 precious boys. I started school in MS, but I ended up graduating from Texas Christian University with a business degree, focused on Entrepreneurial Management. (Which I still can't spell without spell check.) PT and I began working at Fellowship Church about the time we each finished school, him from Seminary and me from TCU. We have loved being a part of Fellowship Church. Out of the almost 12 years that we have been married 9 of them have been as part of the family of Fellowship Church. We have become who we are because of our time there.
So where are we now? That is a great question..we aren't sure. God began working in our hearts around August of last year. Quietly, He asked us to get ready for a new journey. Over time that nudge became louder and more persistent, so we began to look for direction on where this new journey would go. After months of keeping our eyes open we still saw no new path. I continued to pray and ask God to show us where we were going, but no direction. I began to read scripture more diligently for the answers. I studied people, how God led them, how he communicated with them, how they responded and what happened afterwards. You start talking about God calling you to move and you instantly think of Abraham. I can tell you after searching through the scripture from Abraham to Moses, then all of the New Testament, there are FAR MORE stories of God showing his people where to go before they move than the popular story of Abraham who just goes, with no direction at all. SO, I waited some more for God to show us where he wanted us to go. Surely he would open a door, drop something in our laps if he wanted us to change jobs.
Then there was that morning that I cried out to God for direction. I can clearly recall driving in to work that morning listening to worship music just begging God to give us some answers. We were no longer content to just keep doing the same old thing when the creator of the universe says he has something different for you. I told God that morning that we wanted what he has for us, that we were willing to step out like Abraham if that was what he wanted us to do, but I didn't think that is what he was asking of us. If it was, then he needed to make that clear. I don't think I have seen God answer prayer requests so fast in all of my life. He made if very clear that morning that he was asking us to step out in faith not knowing what was next, and the wheels were all in motion before I could even stop and say, "You want us to both quit our jobs?" Although that is probably best, because had we had much time to stop and think about it we probably would not have done it...I mean, who does that? Who chooses to up and quit your job in this economy with no idea of what is next? Things are going fine. We love Fellowship Church. We have a nice little house. The kids are doing good in their school. There are so many reasons not to take that step, but I have no doubt in my mind that is the step that God directed. From August when God began this particular part of our journey he spoke to me when I read Isaiah 42:16 "I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them." As clearly as if he were speaking audibly to me he said that he is taking us on a new path, he will show us what we need to know when we need to know it and that he has all the details covered.
No Really - Where are we? So, that step of faith was about 2 months ago. We have had several interviews for jobs with other churches, that we felt God say "that's not it, wait for me." We have enough left in our savings to make it to the end of June and I am continually going back to that verse. I usually just recite it to myself from memory, but I opened it up and read it from the Bible to discover that it doesn't end there. The last part of verse 16 actually says, "Yes, I indeed will do these things; I will not forsake them." I know that God has a plan. I would really love to know what it is, but God continues to teach me to trust him one step at a time. The farther we go, them more I have to rely on him. I think that is what he is truly trying to teach me. I was at the Flavour Conference last week and Julie Richard (LOVE HER!!) was talking about how God's ability really comes out when you are in need of a miracle...that is his sweet spot...he's kinda good at that. :) God took that moment to remind me that I may miss out on a chance to really see him do a miracle in my life if I am not in need of one. I know he has brought us out here to this place and that he has a plan for us. I continue to learn like I have never learned before and I wake up in the morning with the thought, "I can't make it through today without you."
God, keep me here long enough to never forget that no matter my circumstances, I can't make it through today without you.
Bonnie Lee
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