Chapter 3 - One Step at a Time

"Put your house on the market" and "sell your house" are two different things.

Earlier this summer when the Lord told us to "put your house on the market" I knew it would be hard, but I could still be obedient and hold out hope that I could stay in my house. I could pray and ask Him to do a miracle and provide a way for us to still live here, all the while, being obedient to do what those specific words said. 

I love this house. I love this neighborhood. I love the friends my kids have made. And although sometimes it can be annoying how often our doorbell rings, each time it's kids asking for Cooper and Maddox to come out and play. We have some of our dearest friends just down the street in our neighborhood. Did I mention we live, quite literally, across the street from the pool? We love this place!

This house has been such a blessing! I have loved every day we've gotten to live here. I have sat in the chair in the office that became my quiet time chair watching out the front window as families walk their dogs and kids ride by on bikes and thanked Him almost daily for 3 years straight. So, when He asked me to quit my job and the idea of not being able to stay in this house became a real idea, it also became a real struggle. I know that this house was a gift from the Lord, but from the moment He gave it to us He asked that I never put this house above what He asks me to do. 

Fast forward 3 years and here we are, with the house on the market. I have said the words "I want what you want more than I want what I want," but I was really hoping I wouldn't have to actually follow through. Thursday night when negotiations on an offer were getting close enough that we really didn't have any reason to say no, I was heartbroken. I wasn't ready. To this point I could just hold out and watch as we were obedient to what He had said, but could stay comfortably in our home we love waiting to see what miracle He was going to do. This emotional tail-spin lead to us both seeking the Lord to really do what He wanted, and, fortunately, at that time it was to say no. (You can see the ins and outs of getting to that decision in my last post.) I was relieved when we came to that decision together and immediately started realizing just how much better it would be to stay in the house until next Spring. It would be financially very difficult, but I knew that if it was what God wanted He would provide. I mean, this is near school for Cooper, I could bring the baby home to this house (having room for all the people who will come to town), give us time to get settled and then put the house back on the market in the spring, when it would sell better anyway. I began asking God if we could do that, but still wholeheartedly telling Him I want this, but I want what you want more than I want this. 

True to what he taught us in Crossing the River, we are to ask Him for direction and it is in His presence that we get the answers for each step. I spent the weekend asking God if we could just take it off the market until spring. (I, of course, told Him all the reasons this was the best idea.) Sitting in church Sunday Kaleb preached an incredible message and I knew immediately what God's answer was to this question when Kaleb read Matthew 21:25, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." I knew in that moment God changed his wording from "put it on the market" to, "sell your house." As much as I wanted to believe my plan had to be better, I knew He was asking me to give up my life (my plan) for His, to give over my desires in exchange for his plan, regardless of what that plan looks like. (Not to mention I haven't gotten to see that plan to know if I will like it better. Haha!-Once a control freak, always a control freak.)

I knew that meant we were gonna have an offer soon and this time we couldn't say no and still be obedient. He said "sell." 

That was the same Sunday we had 3 more showings in one day, but the crazy thing is the offer we are getting ready to sign today is actually from the guy we said no to last week. Not much has changed, except I asked and the Lord gave clear direction. So, today, with no idea what's next and how it will all turn out, I trust Him, His plan, His timing, His provisions, and we are officially selling the house. 

We have absolutely no idea where we will be for Christmas, where we will bring this baby girl home to, but we are confident He will give us those steps as well. May I always want what He wants more than what I want and actually be willing to follow through. I can't wait to see what He has in store...one step at a time! 

Chapter 2: Crossing the River

So since the last blog post, we have had more showings, another offer, and said no to selling the house we said we wanted to sell. 

Let me explain...

I've been reading in Joshua this week. One of the things God used to tell us to put our house on the market several months ago was the story of Joshua leading the Israelites across the Jordan River into the Promised Land. So I thought a refresher through Joshua would be beneficial right now. See we've been praying for God to do what only He can do through our current situation. We know there is a gap between where we are and where we feel like the Lord wants us to be, and we know there is no way under our control or circumstances to get there on our own. I, of course, have plenty of ideas of how the Lord could move to make it happen. Since I don't have a clue what He will actually do, I was reminded that day that I need to be asking the Lord at each step if its the right one, and be willing to give God the glory for things that seem like small things as well as things that are overwhelmingly miraculous. 

That same day we got another offer on the house. It started out better than the first offer we got, but just wasn't what we needed to make our financial situation work. We countered with something closer to an offer we would consider, fully expecting to work with the buyer if they got close (I mean, I'm 12 weeks from having a baby and would love to be settled sooner than later!).Well, the potential buyer got close and offered us what, according to the market, could potentially be (outside of the Lord's direct involvement) the best offer we get. But I had resolved to ask the Lord for direction and not just make a decision based on the numbers. P.T. and I talked through all aspects of the decision until we (mostly me) were literally talking in circles. We came to the conclusion that we just didn't feel right about it. Although the Lord could do anything, even with us accepting the offer, it just didn't look like Him doing what only He could do. We had to say no not just once, but twice to this poor guy who just wanted to buy our house we said we wanted to sell. We had nothing to offer our Realtor besides we just feel like the Lord is saying this is not it. 

We went to bed with a knot in our stomach questioning if we'd made the right call, and begging the Lord to give us a fresh word in the morning. Which is ironic since I actually read the same scripture again. Back to Joshua 3, crossing the Jordan...but this time I did get a fresh word. I was asking the Lord to guide our steps. I was begging the Lord to help us to know when to move (quite literally) and when to stay. From the very beginning of this journey the Lord has told me (while reading 2 Chronicles 20) that this is not my battle, I need only to be still, that it's when we believe the Lord, and stand firm in that, then we will be successful. I also noticed in 2 Chronicles, as I've written about before, "standing still" doesn't usually mean the same thing as "do nothing." We still have daily decisions to make, steps to take, and I just want to be sure we are making the right ones. 

So as I reread the story of the crossing of the Jordan I saw it...the thing that allowed for each step to be made across the river. It was the presence of the Lord. Joshua 3:3 describes Joshua giving instructions to the people. He tells them "when you see the Levitical priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord your God, move out from your position and follow them." See, the Ark was God's presence. Their instruction was to stay in the presence of the Lord. When they move the Ark, you move. God so gently reminded me, that my direction comes when I'm in his presence. Then he showed me the power of his presence. As long as the Ark was in the water (which was overflowing the river banks due to it being the harvest season) the river stopped flowing. And as we see in Joshua 4:18 "As soon as the priests carrying the Ark of the Lord's Covenant came up out of the riverbed and their feet were on high ground, the water of the Jordan returned and overflowed its banks as before." 

What happens next is equally amazing. Chapter four goes on to describe the Lord's next command and the Israelite's obedience to Him and how they take that same Ark and march it around the walls of Jericho in order to see the walls just fall down miraculously. 
Their steps toward the flooded Jordan didn't have to make sense. Their "battle" against Jericho by running laps defied logic or conventional strategy. The success of their efforts had nothing to do with anything they did, but simply that they stayed near to the presence of the Lord and followed exactly to His direction. 

Through this journey we are working to do just that. And although the steps don't always seem to make sense, we will continue to do what He tells us to do and give him the glory every chance we get. Because also in Joshua 3, the Israelites gave God the glory for leading them into the promised land, and set up a memorial to be able to tell anyone who asked for years to come about what the Lord had done. I began to pray that we give God the glory through all of this journey no matter how He chooses to answer our prayers. And this blog is our memorial to tell anyone who will read it.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but today...after turning down a good offer on Friday we had not one showing, but 3!