Chapter 3 - One Step at a Time

"Put your house on the market" and "sell your house" are two different things.

Earlier this summer when the Lord told us to "put your house on the market" I knew it would be hard, but I could still be obedient and hold out hope that I could stay in my house. I could pray and ask Him to do a miracle and provide a way for us to still live here, all the while, being obedient to do what those specific words said. 

I love this house. I love this neighborhood. I love the friends my kids have made. And although sometimes it can be annoying how often our doorbell rings, each time it's kids asking for Cooper and Maddox to come out and play. We have some of our dearest friends just down the street in our neighborhood. Did I mention we live, quite literally, across the street from the pool? We love this place!

This house has been such a blessing! I have loved every day we've gotten to live here. I have sat in the chair in the office that became my quiet time chair watching out the front window as families walk their dogs and kids ride by on bikes and thanked Him almost daily for 3 years straight. So, when He asked me to quit my job and the idea of not being able to stay in this house became a real idea, it also became a real struggle. I know that this house was a gift from the Lord, but from the moment He gave it to us He asked that I never put this house above what He asks me to do. 

Fast forward 3 years and here we are, with the house on the market. I have said the words "I want what you want more than I want what I want," but I was really hoping I wouldn't have to actually follow through. Thursday night when negotiations on an offer were getting close enough that we really didn't have any reason to say no, I was heartbroken. I wasn't ready. To this point I could just hold out and watch as we were obedient to what He had said, but could stay comfortably in our home we love waiting to see what miracle He was going to do. This emotional tail-spin lead to us both seeking the Lord to really do what He wanted, and, fortunately, at that time it was to say no. (You can see the ins and outs of getting to that decision in my last post.) I was relieved when we came to that decision together and immediately started realizing just how much better it would be to stay in the house until next Spring. It would be financially very difficult, but I knew that if it was what God wanted He would provide. I mean, this is near school for Cooper, I could bring the baby home to this house (having room for all the people who will come to town), give us time to get settled and then put the house back on the market in the spring, when it would sell better anyway. I began asking God if we could do that, but still wholeheartedly telling Him I want this, but I want what you want more than I want this. 

True to what he taught us in Crossing the River, we are to ask Him for direction and it is in His presence that we get the answers for each step. I spent the weekend asking God if we could just take it off the market until spring. (I, of course, told Him all the reasons this was the best idea.) Sitting in church Sunday Kaleb preached an incredible message and I knew immediately what God's answer was to this question when Kaleb read Matthew 21:25, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." I knew in that moment God changed his wording from "put it on the market" to, "sell your house." As much as I wanted to believe my plan had to be better, I knew He was asking me to give up my life (my plan) for His, to give over my desires in exchange for his plan, regardless of what that plan looks like. (Not to mention I haven't gotten to see that plan to know if I will like it better. Haha!-Once a control freak, always a control freak.)

I knew that meant we were gonna have an offer soon and this time we couldn't say no and still be obedient. He said "sell." 

That was the same Sunday we had 3 more showings in one day, but the crazy thing is the offer we are getting ready to sign today is actually from the guy we said no to last week. Not much has changed, except I asked and the Lord gave clear direction. So, today, with no idea what's next and how it will all turn out, I trust Him, His plan, His timing, His provisions, and we are officially selling the house. 

We have absolutely no idea where we will be for Christmas, where we will bring this baby girl home to, but we are confident He will give us those steps as well. May I always want what He wants more than what I want and actually be willing to follow through. I can't wait to see what He has in store...one step at a time!