You see, one of the passages that God kept taking me to when this all started was 2 Chronicles 20. It's the story where Jehoshaphat learned that 3 of his enemies had joined together planning to fight as one "vast army" against him. "Jehoshaphat was terrified by this news and begged the Lord for guidance." This has been our MO during this journey. We have been afraid, unsure of what was to happen when we faced our "brick wall" (take a look here if you want to know more about it), yet we have sought the Lord every step of the way.
Jehoshaphat's story continues as he calls all the people together to fast and pray. It's there the Lord says, "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's." He gives them their instructions and tells them "you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord's victory." (2 Chronicles 20:15-17 NLT)
As God uses this season to continue to teach me to let go of control and trust him completely (He's been working on this in my life for about 8 years now, but that's not what we are here to talk about today) this passage has been my go to over and over again. I continually want to do anything I can to fix the problem. I could simply go out and get a full time job, but God takes me right back to this verse and says "STAND STILL."
Despite the Lord's instruction to not be afraid, I think Jehoshaphat must have sensed the people were struggling with fear as they set out to STAND against the "vast army" that opposed them. "On the way Jehoshaphat stopped and said, 'Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed.'" They gathered their courage, strengthened with faith and continued on their way, but this time "the king appointed singers to walk ahead of the army, singing to the Lord and praising him for his holy splendor. This is what they sang: 'Give thanks to the Lord; his faithful love endures forever!'" (2 Chronicles 20:20-21 NLT)
Fear has been a big part of this journey for us, too. Fear, frustration, anger, heartache to name a few, but still we sing. Singing when we didn't feel like it. (Maybe I'll write more about this later.) We may have both questioned God, even wrestled down our faith, but still we sang. We sought after the Lord, we showed up at church, we sang worship songs, we served the Lord, and we have continually thanked him, even when we've had to look for the things to thank him for. Like the example Jehoshaphat set, we chose to believe God is faithful even before we saw the evidence in these particular circumstances. We, of course, have plenty of evidence from the Bible and from other times in our lives to encourage that faith.
The coolest part of this story is that it says "At the very moment they began to sing and give praise, the Lord caused the armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir to start fighting among themselves...So when the army of Judah arrived at the lookout point in the wilderness, all they saw were dead bodies lying on the ground as far as they could see. Not a single one of the enemy had escaped...They gathered the valuables, more than they could carry...On the fourth day they gathered in the Valley of Blessing, which got it's name that day because the people praised and thanked the Lord there. It is still called the Valley of Blessing today." (2 Chronicles 20:22-26 NLT)
I know he's working on our behalf, but I haven't seen the results I've wanted or expected. I have longed to step into his blessing. To live out the "more than they could carry." I don't know what he still may have in store as he fulfills the promises he's spoken to us in this journey, but this week I topped the hill and arrived at the lookout point. I sat down with my journal from September of 2016 and reread the things I cried out to God about. I read about the things that I feared the most. I looked back at what it really was I saw as "the brick wall" I've feared so much, and I saw it...thankfully it was not dead bodies, but it was all the blessings in place of those fears.
"God, this step is hard. I know it shouldn't be, but it's hard. I'm so thankful for this gift you've given us, this house, this life, this baby. I just keep finding myself overwhelmed. I have no idea what's next. I have no idea how we will pay for a move or a baby or to stay. God, I learn more with every step just how uncomfortable I am being out of control." These are words from my journal dated 9/2/16. I still cant read them without crying thinking about the emotion behind those words, but today I can look out over that valley and see how even at that very moment he was working in the hearts of people around us to provide for each one of those fears.
- He blessed us through friends who simply wrote checks and covered the medical bills to deliver a baby.
- He blessed us when precious (and I'm sure broke) NewSpring Leadership College Students collected money and sent gift cards for gas and date nights.
- He blessed us with friends who helped us with house projects and took money out of their own cuts to fix up and sell our house so we could make as much money as possible when we sold it.
- He blessed us with friends who sent over huge boxes of diapers with no prompting, and regular gifts that came in just when we needed them most.
- He blessed is with what we needed to provide a nice Christmas not just for our 3 kids, but to help a couple others with theirs as well.
- He blessed us with the provision to make two upcoming trips to celebrate family milestones.
- He blessed us with a large financial gift to put towards a down payment on a house, more than we could save over several years of our absolute best efforts.
All that to say, I had to share as I realized this week, we hit a lookout point and discovered what has become so clearly a Valley of Blessing. We may still be working hard to keep expenses lower than our income so we can continue to steward our finances well, and still asking God what our next step is that gets us out of this tiny apartment. However, we have definitely busted through our "brick wall" we feared so much and are praising him from the Valley of Blessing and we want to use every opportunity we can to give glory to God and teach our kids (and anyone who will listen) to sing the song of Jehoshaphat's army, "Give thanks to the Lord! His faithful love endures forever!"
